the taste of summer sweetness.

my summer came late this year. 'twas a pity, but alas, i now have the "taste of summer sweetness on my lips" (streetcorner symphony - rob thomas). and boy is it sweet. i went on quite the hike up McGee Canyon the other day with my buddy Brent and my precious dog Lydia. it was a delight to dirty up my sneakers and converse with a long-time friend. i am seriously spoiled to have lived in such beautiful places. it has been far to long since i got the chance to get into the wild. surprising i love it. (i say surprisingly because most of you know me as the clean-cut, santa barbaran who loves dining out, gallery openings and GQ. but lest you forget, I was a mountain-kid first.) while i do love my high-speed internet and nordstrom's, i am a sucker for the quiet of the sierras. for the slow-paced culture. the bright, twinkling stars. and the view of the mountains and crowley lake from my room. there is something so sweet about summer and fall in the sierras. a sweetness i have missed while in santa barbara. as you can imagine, we have all four seasons here. something that doesn't exist in sb. 'course the perpetual seventy degree temperatures are by no means something to complain about. but i do love the changing seasons. (and you all know i love change). it is something to look forward to. something to break-up the routine, the monotony. and of course, with the seasons, comes photo ops a-plenty and decadent dishes a-plenty. i have a martha steward cookbook that is organized by seasons, and i love it. ingenious.

i was chit-chatting with my sista the other day and she was saying that september is her favorite month. i said, "of course it is. you were born in september and were married in september. and you love that country song with the line: "it was labor weekend and i was seventeen, bought a coke and some gasoline and i drove out to the county fair..." we laughed. and then i agreed. tis such a delightful month. september marked the end of summer and the start of autumn. the leaves change color and the thermometer changes its readings.

and of course, it involves the tri-county fair in the one-and-only town of Bishop, California. haha. i have not been able to go since i started westmont because it always falls on labor day weekend which is just a short week after classes starts. i have missed and am enthused about getting to this year. my family and i bought the all-fair pass. this means we will be there every day for the next five days. my sister and brother-in-law are the seasoned veteran all-fair attendees, so i am new to this gig. i am thrilled. i will be sure to post some photos and tale from the Eastern Sierra Tri-County Fair next week. i am sure you will get a kick out of 'em.

captain jack sparrow.

i feel like captain jack sparrow. you know, the scene where he valiantly sails into Port Royal for the first time. and he looks so brave and pirate-esque standing up on the mast. then the camera zooms out and his ship is not much of ship, and it is sinking to boot. but he steps onto the dock with confidence. as if he belonged there. with a sense of entitlement. then the keeper of the dock tells him it is a shilling to tie up his boat. and he will need his name. jack looks at his pathetic sunken boat and offers three shillings to avoid giving his name...

i like his confidence and cleverness. haha. (remember that he then steals the dock-keepers bag of coins). i like that no matter how much he feels out of place or how much people are looking at him, he steps on that dock sure of who he is and of his purpose in Port Royal. sure his boat is underwater and useless, but he will find a way to get back on the high sea. and we know he does. he's captain jack sparrow after all.

i am like jack. i have sailed into port for a purpose, with intentions, goals and aspirations. i have arrived with confidence and with my head held high despite the looks of my "ship." it has been interesting moving home. that is for sure. in some ways i feel like i have to pay a shilling to tie up my boat. and that people will look at me like "what the hell? what is he doing back?" i feel like they think my ship has sunk and coming home is my last resort, and that i have hit rock bottom. and it is almost like my home is not my home. i feel like an outsider. an intruder. a pirate. weird i know. ironic indeed. but there is an odd sense about, a strange wind. i hope it will pass. soon.

i wish i did not care so much about what people think. grr. i bother myself sometimes. but in small town, their are always eyes a-watchin', people talkin' and opinions circulatin'. i am confident in my decision to move home. i know what i can handle and i know that if i approach this season in such a way, that i will come away with a bigger, better and faster ship. i might have to commandeer it, but hey, you do what you got to do, eh? haha. no, no. i will find a more appropriate way to get me such a sea-faring vessel. hmm. i better get to work. because i can already sense that this captain needs the wind and spray of the see in his face.

i know, i know the nautical metaphors are a bit too much at times, but i can't resist. they work for me! :)

i lift my eyes up.

1 I will lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

what an incredible passage of scripture. one that never ceases to encourage and strengthen. my dear friend michele reminded me of this beloved passage in an e-mail the other day. she does that...knows when and how to encourage me. thank you michele!

SO, this passage is particularly relevant to my life because i have decided to make a huge shift...i have decided to go up to the mountains for a time of refreshment, nourishment, and rejuvenation. in other words i am going home. i know! i am so excited. i have decided that i want to commit myself more fully to pursuing photography and developing my business. and in order to do this, i thought it an ideal time to get some family and crowley time in. how many more times in my life would i get to do such a thing? so, homeward bound i am headed. i resigned from my post at Eye of the Day Garden Design Center and am now finishing out my last two weeks along with wrapping up my life here in Santa Barbara.

it is a strange thing to be leaving my primary home of four years. a place i love. full of such wonderful memories and friends. in someways it feels like when i moved to Westmont. weird. i sometimes am tempted to feel that i am moving backwards by moving home, only to realize the opportunities i have at hand there. opportunities to rest, to seek direction, to be with my family, to read, to photograph, create, build, and plan. a chance to chart a new course. i feel like i have been out to sea for far too long and it is time that i come into port to re-fuel and stretch-out a bit. to be on solid ground and gather my future bearings and headings.

august 15th marks my last day in santa barbara. and a beginning of a new chapter. i am interested to see what comes of it. but here is what will for sure be involved: family. friends. travel. photography. reading. prayer. hiking. design. i am headed up to the mountains faithful that the Lord will meet me there and will direct my course...

you've got a friend in me.

ever realize that the people who are most important and present in your life are the ones you don't pay enough attention to. or put enough effort forth to care for them or encourage them. or remind them of why it is that you love them? do you ever need a reminder of their incredible-ness, amazing-ness, unique-ness? ever just need to take a moment and think about it?

i have been doing this a lot lately. i suppose it comes with transitioning out of the college life and realizing that i have to choose which relationships need to be sustained. it is a tough negotiation. i think we are often afraid of letting people go, or moving on, or starting something new. we are not trained to think of relationships as seasonal. perhaps this reality scares us, makes us feel as though the relationships are not deep and or real or even Godly. we get so caught up in creating life-long friendships that we forget that there are seasons, changes, springs and winters. we don't like endings. and forget that an ending is also a beginning. we say goodbye only to say hello. people come in and out of our lives if but for a moment. and we do the same in the lives of others. need we worry and fuss over making every relationship life-long? should we not realize and celebrate the potential to have meaningful, intentional and God-ordained relationships with people we meet at a gas station? yes perhaps the encounters are infrequent and ephemeral. but they can be real and purposed indeed. i realize that while i love, value, appreciate and respect many of my peers and friends from college that were are now in different places, doing different things, communing with different people. this is okay. it's normal and quite expected. we can still affirm those relationships and recognize the contributions those individuals made to our lives and thank them for it. but we can move on, say goodbye, and pray a blessing over their lives. go well my friend! anyone have any thoughts on this matter? comment away...

but then there are those people who you know you cannot live without. the people who will be in your wedding or at your new year's party. the people who become your God-parents or honorary aunts and uncles. the people with whom you vacation and swap the joys and woes of child-rearing. the friends who you call when you get the new job or when you need someone to listen, to hold, to pray. those are the people with whom the friendship is life-long. you know this. and they know it.

brent. he is one of those people. he is my best friend, my boy, my go-to-guy. he is the type of guy i can call after months of not talking and converse to for hours. no matter how long it had been. we just pick up right were we left off. sure we have grown and changed, matured and learned. but we know that no matter what, we will always be buds. i love the security of that. and the mutual commitment we both have to maintaining our friendship. brent is one of the most humble, genuine, and real dudes i know. he is honest, supportive, encouraging and simply loyal. now matter what. he makes people around him comfortable in who they are. he puts them at ease and makes them roll on the ground with laughter. i love this man. he is a incredible friend, loving son, and faithful brother in Christ. i am blessed to have him in my life and honored to call him my best friend.

friendships take work. they take time and commitment, prayers and honesty. they require trust and faith and a willingness to give of oneself, to sacrifice.